I am getting my ass whipped by Zelator Adeptus Minor...
(for the privacy of my anonymous sister, I've cut most of this message out.)
...Any thoughts or advice are welcome. I have even considered moving away from the GD work and balancing it out with some Eastern work.
Kindest wishes to you & your precious Lady.
VH Soror (something-something)
I think in a way GD is kind of stuck in Victorian England, but it's good for finding the pulse deep underneath Western culture, and a good place to find the connections with Eastern culture. Also, the Yoga, I find, has helped me with Earth in a major way. If I were to Chief an Order (I hope I never do) I wouldn't have the 1=10 test be "did you make your pantacle? ...Good, what are the correspondences for blah? ...Good," I'd have it be much more *physically* oriented, as in something along the lines of what I'm doing now with the Yoga training. Perhaps I've finally arrived at true-zelator, referencing the article ICL wrote.
I've found much peace in my Yoga practice. For me, the GD work was very much interwoven with Robert Zink and all of that bullshit, and my having to spy on people to "save Jerusalem" and a lot of shit like that I'm not proud of, and am only recently starting to admit. On the other hand, since Temple Isis separated from him, and especially since I separated from Temple Isis, I have gotten back in touch with the many Adepts who had left long ago, and found there something of a loose-knit community of the people I had missed so much for so long. That gives me strength, and also the strength to be different from the cookie-cutter "Adept" mold that the Order I came from seemed to want to cram everybody into. Ironically, when I had superiors standing over me telling me to be a better person, it made me want to be worse. Once I left, I found myself genuinely motivated to be a better person.
Thank you for pouring your heart out to me so often, it really makes me feel special, speaking plainly, and thank you for allowing me to share these intimate things with you as well. Congratulations on the Vault! Once, when I was in a subway, and I was going through a very difficult time with my relationship, my heart was crushed in a thousand ways a day, and I needed an escape. I went into my inner astral temple in Malkuth, and into my inner Vault, and I looked at the walls. Lo and behold, every single square was there, clearly marked, holding still, and in the right colors. The Hebrew was on the ceiling and floor, the snakes were slithering under onyx-like glass beneath the rose and the equal-armed cross. It really is true, I guess, what they say about suffering and sadness and pain being the initiators of the heart.
Oh, also, I'm really into this book lately.
Much Love & LVX,
Post-script: After this correspondence, and one other from a Soror in San Diego, I felt moved to create this page.